


I Might Just Disappear

by Lidsworth



Series: HideKane Week 2014 [1]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Hidekane Week, M/M, bitter sweet ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-09
Updated: 2014-12-09
Packaged: 2018-02-28 19:26:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2744285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lidsworth/pseuds/Lidsworth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The mysterious blond stalks Haise in his nightmares, plagues his daily thoughts, and has now started haunting his house. But is he really a ghost? Or just a memory that refuses to go away?</p><p>HideKane Week Day 1.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Might Just Disappear

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I know i'm eons late, but this is part one of Hide/Kane week. I've just had too much work to do. It's not really beta'd, I'm in the middle of class! 
> 
> First/Confession/Book store date. Enjoy
> 
> Oh, credit goes to Mystery Skulls "Ghost".

_OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO_

_Find me, okay man?_

But-but you're going too fast! Slow down!

 

_You're just going to slow! Just take a break for now, okay?_

Who are you? I can't see you anywhere!

 

_And then he saw him in a nasty sewer, dressed in black, though his smile penetrated the darkness like the sun in space. He felt warm and welcoming, like something Haise would love to indulge in._

_Though as Haise got closer, his sunshine melted into something rather dark, something sinister and dead. He looked as if he was dying. In fact, he was dying._

_OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO_

 

Haise woke in another cold sweat that morning, drenched positively to his ashen bones. His face bore an even ashier white he supposed, as the rather morbid dream stayed in his mind like spoiled eggs in someone's gut. With a broken sigh, the ghoul ran a hand through his slick hair, flicking dew drops of liquid off of his multicolored locks.

 

The dream had become more vivid, _a lot_ more vivid. That jovias blond led him down a path of dying flowers, only to join in their decaying ranks seconds later. Slabs of meat fell of of his bony body, scars tore through his skin which had suddenly became paper thin, and his blood pooled below him like rain drops.

 

“Find me? Okay man?” And with those word which he rolled off of his tongue, the sweet taste of bloody followed in suit. Though Haise would have much preferred for the name of this blond to be pouring off of his tongue. Not a plea, or a sort of taste, just a name.

 

A name would suffice.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

It was like a unquenchable thirst that had lodged itself into the very depths of his mind, like a throbbing pain that could not be alleviated with even the world's most effective medicine. Days after the dream, the blond plagued his thoughts. In fact, Haise feared that his mind was materializing the boy into his home settings, and inserting him into daily occurrences of his life.

 

In the foggy restroom mirror, kissed with steam and heat, Haise could swear that a pair of honey eyes fought to poke out of the fog. Only when he shook his head, did he realize that he was just looking at himself.

 

Though as of recent, books had found themselves opened to random pages, scattered on the ground in an unceremonious manor, as if some rambunctious teenager had taken it upon themselves to search for something that wasn't there, or something that didn't exist.

 

And with the destruction of his room came the smell of an earthy scent, one someone would smell outside, in a grassy field on a summer's day. Not to mention, the faint scent of coffee danced about the area as well.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

“Cool Saasan! You've got a ghost in your room!” Called a spirited Shirazu from the kitchen table, “Are you gonna get an exorcist?!”  


Mutsuki looked like he wanted to throw up, in fact, the color had drained clean from his dark features, “G-ghost...That's scary.”

 

The Quinx mentor suddenly regretted confiding within his team about the rather strange phenomena that had taken place in his room. Part of him had hoped that they would reveal to be the perpetrators. Perhaps they'd been looking for a book or some sort of clothing article in his room, and just didn't want him to know that they'd been intruding. But upon explaining to them his small issue, their eyes grew wider than salad saucers (even Urie looked somewhat interested), and the following moments consisted of Shirazu spewing out chilling stories of psychopaths and demons, and Mutsuki pleading with him to shut up.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

It was during the early hours of the morning that he woke. He followed the scent of freshly roasted coffee to the kitchen early that morning, half expecting the aroma to disappear when he stepped into the cooking area. Though upon closer distance, he heard the distinct sound of a spoon tapping against the ceramic rim of a coffee mug, echoing throughout the kitchen.

 

He grunted as he dragged himself to the kitchen, preparing to converse with one of his colleagues, who too, had been woken up by some strange sensation. Perhaps it was a virus going around the house.

 

Though it took Haise only seconds to realize (and by this time, he was already in the kitchen), that no one in the Quinx squad indulged in taste of coffee as much as he did (they hardly enjoyed the roast he did), and no one in his home was blond.

 

_I can't make it as good as you man, you haven't taught me yet._

 

The voice died away just as quickly as the orange specter, standing over the counter did, and in a mist, the half ghoul could vividly feel a cool breeze brush past him.

 

The smell of coffee no longer lingered about the house. Though the sense of familiarity did.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

Earlier that morning, his shelf had been shuffled once again, as if an angry child had been shoving books around once more, searching for what wasn't there. Though this time, only one book had been tossed on the ground, and randomly opened to a page about rabbits.

 

“ _It's possible for your rabbit to die of loneliness”_ read the caption of the book that Haise wasn't even aware he had. With a sigh, he picked up the tousled thing, closed it, and put it on his shelf.

 

_I'm lonely, come find me._

 

And the smell of coffee and nature filled the room again.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

The ghost wasn't really evil, or anything like that. Haise hasn’t felt threatened in his presence, just curious. He wondered where he suddenly came from, if he'd grown some random attachment to Haise, or if it was a special connection. He'd made a correlation between the boy in his dreams, and the ghost itself.

Though he hadn't placed a name on the coffee specter. He supposed that Sunshine would’ve done, though when he was decaying in Haise's dreams, he thought anything but sunshine. Rabbit? Perhaps, though Haise thought that rabbit was reserved for another, some girl he had a hard remembering.

 

The blond brushed past him in the hallways at his home, ruffling his hair and gently punching him in the shoulder. At times he swiped his papers off of his desk, though not for bullying sake, just to get a kick out of Haise running around the office, catching the papers before the fell.

 

This had been Hide's most favorite antique. Haise found himself giggling as he grabbed at the papers, and somewhere, in the back of his head, another boy joined the fray. And just for a second, Haise felt a heavy weight lift off of his chest, as if a sort of loneliness had been taken away from him, and the void had been filled with something happy, and fulfilling.

 

Coffee filled the room, and a natural light poured around him. The papers continued to swirl around the room, as if some sort of current had drafted underneath the closed doors. Even as he grabbed at them and slapped them back onto the desks, they swirled around as if the ghost was trying to prevent him from keeping them still.

 

“Okay, not funny!” Haise called, as he grabbed a bunch in his hand, only for them to be tossed out of his hand, “I have to get back to work! Stop being an idiot!”

 

The laughter still tickled the air, bubbling around him. Papers flew, and Haise grabbed at the papers once more.

 

“Hide, stop! “And with that, the papers fell to the ground slowly. Where the name came from, he hadn't a clue. It just seemed so right, so accurate to call the specter by the name Hide, despite the fact that he'd never spoken that name in his entire life.

 

But it just felt so right, like the only right thing in his world full of wrong.

 

 _You found me...And_ through the veil of papers, Haise swore he could see a solid figure standing behind the curtain, head phones wrapped around his neck, an orange jacket around his torso, green pants, and hands lodged neatly in his pockets.

 

Though as soon as he appeared, the blond was gone. The papers fell suddenly to the ground, the scent of coffee left the room, and the sun dimmed considerably.

 

Haise was left alone with a foreboding feeling that erupted within his stomach, as he felt that this was somehow an impromptu goodbye.

 

He played with the name Hide on his tongue, familiarizing himself with the sound, garnering any memories that the name could've produced.

 

He found nothing.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

It was at least another week before Hide made his presence known to Haise. The wait scared him though, the anticipation was destoying him. The fact that Hide hadn't visted him yet meant something was going to happen, Haise could feel it.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

He found him again in the least expected way possible.

 

Hide had tapped him on the shoulder during his walk through the hallways of the CCG building. It was a quick tap, as if to say “follow me”. He bounced quickly as the ghostly fingers brushed his clothed shoulder, his quirky action warranted unwanted attention from the investigators walking in the building beside him.

Without the aroma of coffee and nature following closely behind him, he would've never known that it was Hide who'd been around him.

 

His blond hair stuck out in the sea of dark clad and gray. He moved with in inhuman speed through the crowd of the living, weaving his way through tights spaces, curving around sharp corners, and practically gliding at the feet. He moved with an air of urgency, an air that Haise hadn't appreciated at all. It was full of a rather dark sensation.

 

It was at this moment, that Haise noted the change in Hide's rather bright, sunny wardrobe. He now adorned drapes of gray and blue, a robe much to big for his bony body ate away at his tiny figure, a sash that nearly fell the the ground and flowed behind him as he skidded the hallways in his ghostly manor.

 

And his hair, it had been nearly lost, falling off, strands dying like decaying sunflowers. Had they not been a mere vision, Haise would have loved to pick them up in bunches, and sprinkle them upon Hide again.

 

Hide was decaying before his very eyes, and suddenly, he felt as if he were trapped in one of his nightmares again. “Hide, why are you showing me this?” He asked aloud, as the ghost led him to an area in the CCG building that was very unfamiliar to him.

 

The hallway was long, lights above at a constant shine, bright and sickening. The floors were metal, the walls as well. Not even the smell of coffee could penetrate the stench of sterilized metals and liquid that this new corridor held.

 

In fact, Hide had gone, leaving Haise alone .

 

And before he knew it, he was forcing his feet down the long hallway, willing himself to walk depite the fact that his mind begged him to turn around. Suddenly, his mouth was full of the sweat taste of blood as he stirred forward, towards the door at the end of the hallway.

 

Like a whisper in the wind, he heard a conversation of old stir itself within his mind.

 

 _It's okay man, I already knew! Let's just go home already!_ Where did that even come from? Who'd said that? The voice sounded so familiar, the presence felt like the sun, warm and welcoming. It felt like home.

 

And before he knew it, his hands had wrapped tightly around a metal door knob, and what was once locked before, clicked with a sudden ease, as if someone or something had unlocked it for him.

 

_Can you fight with all you've got? One more time?_

 

And Haise was fighting. Fighting just to open the door, fighting the growing urge to run away and scream, because the feeling of dread that had just befallen him was almost too much to bear. The thought of what may be lurking on the other side of the door, be it dead or alive, frightened him to no end.

 

Closing his eyes, he sighed as he calmed his fears, though they still tingled within him like bolts of electricity shooting throughout his veins. The door flung open, and Haise stepped into the dimly lit room.

 

_Rabbits die when they get lonely._

 

He saw him there, the ghost from his dreams, thin and pale, clinging onto life like a flower in an angry blizzard. He was full of chords, IV's invading his body. The bed consumed him in its fury, which seemed almost wrong.

 

Confusion hit him like a steel wrecking ball.

 

The entire scene seemed wrong. He walked over to the body, more closely than he'd been before. His hand ghosted over the exposed face, which bore mask, which through it, pumped clean oxygen.

 

Haise wasn't at all certain why he was led here, he had no idea what this meant. The memories were coming too slow.

 

“Hide I don't understand,” Haise admitted, as he ran his fingers through the straw colored hair...a sensation that seemed all to familiar. Though the severity of his grooming wasn't at all as rough as he remembered it to be.

 

A nerve had been struck in Haise's mind.

 

Yes, that was it. His hands had indeed combed through these locks, hadn't they? Though the last time they'd done so, they'd been doused in blood.

 

 _Take what you need Kaneki, it's okay,_ the voice said through gulps of blood, _Live._

 

Haise could recall a time when his mouth had been buried in the deep meat of someone's shoulder, as his teeth crushed shoulder blades turning the bone into dust, and his kagune tore into the soft flesh of the willing victim.

 

Haise was insane with blood lust during the entire ordeal. The body rocked back and forth as his teeth tore into the naked flesh, as he ripped tendons from bone and arteries from muscles. He couldn't stop himself.

 

 _I-it's okay Kaneki,_ the blond forgave, _Just t-take..._

 

He took alright, like a beast with no remorse of no sympathy.

 

 _C-can..j-just one m-more thing._ Kaneki wasn't listening, but the blond spoke the best he could.

 

“ _I-I lo-love y-ou K-kankeki...”_

 

Haise was crying before the memory even finished, tears streamed down his face like rapid waterfalls. Hide's face was moist with the ghoul's tears, his hair nearly damp as a result of them. The CCG had obviously fixed what they could, though the imprint of stitches and bite marks were very much apparent in Hide's shoulder.

 

Haise wasn't even entirely sure if Hide had two legs anymore, as he could only see the faint imprint of one underneath the thick blankets.

 

In his heavy agony, the faint smell of coffee returned, and like a gentle breeze, he could feel a hand gently pat him on the back. Hide's spirit leaned forward, his lips barely brushing the ghoul's ear.

 

“Stop being such a cry baby! It's alright man!You finally came home, that's all that matters, Kaneki!”

 

And despite the morbid body before him, despite the fact that he was standing above his dying friend, Haise felt somewhat at east. As if the loneliness within him had finally been filled, as if the thirst had finally been quenched.

 

He spoke the first words that came to mind, as the time to say them was running out. “I love you Hide,” he whispered aloud, as he straitened his posture, “Thank you for everything.”

  
“Anytime, Kaneki.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> There have been cases when a person In a coma is seen wakling through the hopsital, or through their homes, or anywhere. Their spirits leave their bodies, and they venture around the place. It's not astral projection, but something similar. Either way, it's possible. Hope you enjoyed this first installment of my hidekane week. If you couldn't tell, it's for confessions and firsts. Have a wonderful week, and God bless!


End file.
